Victim Mentality

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Many people are victims of an unfair socio-economic system or a poor educational background. People with victim mentality are not victims because of the socio-economic system or their own environment or education in a true sense. Many people may have a good background and skills but miss living their lives and opportunities because of an exaggerated fear of taking risks or experimenting with something new. People with victim mentality are generally negative, with a tendency to focus on bad rather than good aspects of a situation. A glass that is half full is considered to be half empty.

Typically a person with a high standard of living with such a victim mentality would complain about not having enough money.

A healthy person would complain of minor health problems, which others would ignore, and this person would be unable or reluctant to consider someone else’s point of view or to "walk a mile in their shoes".

Such a person is a victim of their own making, believing that they would not be able to change their situation. They underestimate their own ability to positively influence a situation, feeling powerless, mostly stubborn, tending to reject suggestions or constructive criticism from others who listen and care. In this state of mind they are unable or reluctant to implement the suggestions of others for their own benefit. They are mostly self-abasing, putting themselves down even further than others are supposedly doing.

A victim mentality may manifest itself in a range of different behaviors or ways of thinking and talking. They normally blame others for a situation that they have created themselves or significantly contributed to. Failing or being unwilling to take responsibility for their actions or the actions to which they have contributed.

Victim mentality is one of the world’s biggest problems unsolved.

A victim mentality is one where it is always someone else's fault for bad things happening to you. Further than this, it can be an expectation that things will go wrong, because “bad things always happen to me”. A victim blames others for their circumstances - when something happens, they don't take responsibility for their actions.  The most effective way to overcome the victim mentality is to start taking responsibility for every action and circumstance in your life - as you try to seek in every possible way to take responsibility for your actions and life, you will realize and see that:  “Although I cannot control my circumstances, I can always control my response!” When we embrace this attitude, life's circumstances will no longer control us, because we have been freed to choose how to respond!

The Victim Mentality

The victim mentality is characterized by pessimism, self-pity, repressed anger and a belief that life is beyond one's control. Victims blame any and every available scapegoat (fate, circumstances, other people, even objects!) for their problems and disappointments. They often lead a crisis-ridden lifestyle, going from one trauma to another, never seeing the contribution they make in creating their own crises. According to them, nothing is ever their fault.

Unlike true victims, people with a victim mentality lament their misfortunes and stop there. They make no effort to learn from their mistakes, to analyze what went wrong, to pick up the pieces and move on. They wallow in self-pity, thinking that their shortcomings make them hopeless or that other's actions excuse them from responsibility. Their "poor me" attitude may be no problem for them, but it often creates anger and resentment in others.

Most victims probably were victimized as children. However, what happens to us as children is beyond our control, but what we do about it as adults is completely up to us. It's our responsibility to resolve leftover conflicts and emotions from childhood - anger, fear and insecurity - so that we don't continue to victimize ourselves as adults.

The impact of all kinds of NEGATIVE thoughts.

Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot. It rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance. Bestial thoughts crystallize into habits of drunkenness and sensuality, which solidify into circumstances of destitution and disease. Impure thoughts of every kind crystallize confusing habits, which solidify into distracting adverse circumstances. Thoughts of fear, doubt, and indecision crystallize into weak, unmanly, and irresolute habits which solidify into circumstances of failure, indigence, and slavish dependence. Lazy thoughts crystallize into weak, habits of unclean lines and dishonesty, which solidify into circumstances of foulness and beggary. Hateful and condemnatory thoughts crystallize into habits which solidify into circumstances of injury and persecution. Selfish thoughts of all kinds crystallize into habits of self-seeking, which solidify into distressful circumstances.

Moving beyond the victim mentality requires courage and commitment. Changing patterns learned in childhood is takes courage, since it requires looking at the world in a new, more personally accountable way. Victims must learn to see how they contribute to (if not create) most of their troubles. That means recognizing that it's not bad luck or fate or your spouse or your boss or anyone or anything else that controls your life: only you do.

Such a shift in perspective can be difficult to achieve alone.

For victims, therapeutic change begins with the question, "How can I change my behavior and take responsibility for my own actions and life regardless of what others do (or don't do)?"

South Africa and the rest of the world are trapped in this emotional self-demolishing sickness.. Victim Mentality is the sickness of the century.

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